Best Wiest Ever, #29 - The Galactic Noodle Headache, 8/15/10
Join Reinwell Wiest, the lionized letter-man, as he lauds literature’s 100 Greatest Fictional Characters!
My job only grows more difficult as the days grows longs. A man came in the other day with a sore Hibiscus (he is a Flower Charles), which was revealed, after some consultation, to be a contraction of vorpal, a virus which opens up a stunning pit that resembles a black hole in name only, assuming the black hole is named “Kevin”. This void now yawns its jackass maw from the children’s ward straight over to oncology, engulfing the in-between and reducing it to a hobby horse with a smart rictus and a shredded rake (In other words, everything has been swallowed up into the shitmouth of existence…where the things have gone, I have no idea. The pit (Kevin) that opened up could be like a black hole maybe, ripping everything that enters it apart, like a shark attacking a homemade stew. Maybe, like in that one movie Time Snatch, they’ve entered another dimension. Maybe a comet is raping them. Who knows?).*