Vun’s Corner, What is Funny?, 02/24/05
Vun Kleinlin, the world’s most famous celebrity ghost, brings you Tinseltown’s latest gossip!
What are you bringing to the pot luck?*
I have light-fantastic news that will be a trip! The shitty editors of the vulnerable humor rag The Onion have asked your Uncle Steven to write an edition of their column “What Is Funny?” And while I have been waiting patiently for their invitation, no one has yet contacted me! WTF, dude! However, due to my mountain debts from the creation of Mount Fuckmore (a tribute to the 7th Duke of Windsor, Mountrose Earl Fuckmore, who in 1787 was the first man to smell The Yellow Odour) and for the fact that my Cotton Factory (we make skulls) has gone under neath another factory when it was demolished by the Three Sisters, I have written it anyway in the hopes that I will retroactively be paid exactly a shells-worth of euros to be placed into my secret Swiss bank account. My bank manager, a Ms. Bristow, says that unlike my genitalia, my funds are maturing, which leaves me to wonder how she got this job in the first place, and if she’s a spy, why’d she use her real name? Where’s my scissors?